HalpernOtte848
Материал из campus.mephi.ru
I came across this quote today and wanted to share it with you. You may possibly locate that it relates to your marriage.
The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in enjoy with a personality, but we need to reside with a character.
- Peter Devries
We can only appreciate the profundity of this statement if we understand what is meant by CHARACTER.
Personality is easy to understand. Your personality is how individuals encounter you. Its your public persona.
But what is character? And why is character so critical in your marriage?
Character is who you are when no 1 is watching.
Let me say that once again so you can read it slowly and actually digest it this time.
Character is who you are when no one is watching.
You see, when you and your spouse met, you met each others PERSONALITIES. You showed your spouse and you were shown by your spouse your public personas. Im not saying you tricked every other. Its just your personalityhow you display oneself to others.
But marriage lasts also long in as well close quarters for anybody to sustain a public persona. Personalities at some point give way to an INNER SELF that gets revealed for the very first time. And there you each and every stand, naked as if no a single is watching. But a person is watching. And thats when you meet for the initial timeagain!
You and your spouse dont meet the individual who charmed every other people friends, bought presents for each other individuals parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. No, this time its a meeting of your CHARACTERS.
In several circumstances, its not only that youre meeting each other for the very first time, but its that youre meeting YOURSELVES for the 1st time.
Most individuals wouldnt be caught dead treating anybody the way they treat their spouse. Most folks dont recognize their personal behavior. Im just not myself with him/her. Properly then who is that individual? Thats YOUits your character. (And your spouse meets their character.)
The cause so several men and women fail at marriage and an try at marriage renewal is NOT that they dont like their spouse. Its that they dont like THEMSELVES. And although every person else in their life is like a mirror reflecting their character their spouse is a mirror reflecting their character. And most men and women dont like what they see.
Several people would rather pick to be with an individual else than stay with their spouse and have to continue to be with themselves. (Did you get that?)
Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century manual on accomplishment, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as follows: You are as a lot a real individual as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as essential as the surface. There are people who are all facade, like a home left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage.
Marriage renewal and person character development go hand-in-hand. If you want to increase one, work on the other also.
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